One of the issues that causes problems for my clients is their view of others. Feeling frustrated by other people’s behaviour is very common. However we can become addicted to wanting others to change. We feel enraged, let down, put down and generally diminished when they just continue on their path.
How dare they! I mean we have it all figured out for them! If only they would follow our rules and expectations that we have made up in our heads and they don’t even know about!
It seems ridiculous but we can waste so much energy on other people that we forget that we have no right to expect people to change.
Do we think other people should make up rules and expectations for us? Mmm….
Even if someone is talking negatively about you, or to you, is that your job to take on? No – it’s their behaviour not yours.
This does not mean that we put up with unacceptable behaviour. We always have a choice about the people we spend time with. Just as we have a choice about the meaning we give to their behaviour.
Let’s look at ourselves because we truly are the only ones we have the right to or are able to change. By being the change we want to see in others we are able to set healthy boundaries in our relationships and become confident in our ability to grow and learn new things.